Monday, October 26, 2009

Red turns into white


It is nice to see two ex-lovers talking from afar… it seems like that I have been the way to let the issues flow that has been drowned. Well the sparks are there from few years since I haven’t met these guys. I want them to talk to commune again… I am a bridge not an arrow of cupid. Well it is fantastic how the red turn into white. I am not a perfect partner but I am perfect friend and still trying to be. For the red, a lot of unspoken memories that has been written through tears, I want the tears to embossed and spoken this time. I don’t want them be another unpublished collection of sufferings, instead to let them b e known and be untold. As for the white, I want to clear the thoughts of thinking twice and to get ready of future person, to reunite with himself with a good partner. I want to erase the thoughts of doubting and replace it to trust. A five-letter word but it means a lot. I want to them to blossom and go into one way that I know, to get there in the place of what they desire most. As for me as I end this small storytelling, I want to compare it to what we have been through life. Well life is not complicated, we are.

I want to end my fingers typing by stating, are you there already? then show me my love... i am still waiting that you do exist. give me a reason to...*sigh*

Friday, October 2, 2009

hands down to let them play again


I have the thoughts of going out and spread my hands to needy.
but where should I start?
where are they?
I pity the people who insinuate the barbaric act of putting Filipinos into a catastrophe.
Do they have the thoughts of thinking twice?
Taunting is there only way to help us being submerged in deep water?
Is it another game they want?
Well I'll tell you one thing... just don't let the incident happen to you...

My country men are in rage of calamity.
And as my soft heart for kids are being crushed when i look at their faces of being harassed of by the foreign water outside their window.
Unfortunately, some of them did not survive.

If they only knew how my country men, who has been outraged, start their day.
Where was the portable water that they need? where was the dainty food that they usually enjoy? where was the shelter that they rest their weary body?

I want to take a glimpse of the after-the-rain effect...
I want to see my country men value the art of dancing among the ideology of hugging the earth and its wonderful elements. Relive by it. For after all, it is not too late.
There is more time.
I want to steal the good future and bring it now.
But before that, let us pray for the souls of the victims of the recent flood.

P.S.
I am proud of you Babe for lending your helping hand to the needy. :D



Monday, September 14, 2009

As i turned your cheek red with the rabbit on my hat


I am a boy who loves to pull up some rabbit on my hat...
the next day I will get some flowers on your ear.
I love seeing your face astonished.
baby I am so glad that I surprised you again with my presence.
I can still see the picturesque upon my head that your face turned up to red.
It is enough to say that you appreciate my time and efforts.
I love you as much as my little magic.
As I lay my hands at your shoulders, I know we will make a good home.
A home that is full of romance and butterflies.
A touch of lavender and vanilla will be perfect.
A place that we can call OURS.
get ready with my last surprise for it will be ours soon.
I am patiently waiting as we step our feet to a new dimension of our progress.
I am waiting til' you say the 3 letter word that corresponds to the three words can syllabicate in to 3.
As the sun rises unto our eyes today, I promise to make you smile.

P.S.
I love it when you try to beat my surprises to you.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

The boat ride crash course.


I am so excited to wake up in the afternoon to be on our date.
The date would be in...
Place: Escolta station of the Pasig river's ferry boat.
time: around 5:30 and so.
I am hoping to bring doughnuts for us. since we have time constraints and I woke up late. I bought polvoron, for I remembered you like that.
so there I saw the boat under the bridge and I feel the sudden rush for I know in any minute the boat will go on with its destinations. I went to the counter and bought tickets for us. The lady guard says the boat will be leaving in 3 minutes. So I called you up to make a sudden rush on you so can hurry up. So there, we got in and waited for ten minutes just to get in.
The rain and the storm would not match up with our day babe.


I enjoyed the whole ride with you on my arms and later I pushed you outside to see how beautiful the undiscovered Manila is.
Then as we go down to my hometown, which is Makati, we go on with the pavements of my childhood til' I become now.

The idea of the whole plot is for you to see where I grew and the people around me. To let you know I grew up in a humble residences, simple life and somehow filthy.
Well I love the filthy life.
And of course I want you to know who I am.

baby I know we had a crash course awhile ago, but lemme' tour you around on the day time to see how wonderful my childhood was.
I also want you to taste the delicacies of my favorite restaurant.
Let's eat pansit and pizza next time. :)
I love you babe. I am so thankful that you enjoyed your night being with me.

P.S.
Next Saturday babe.
Let's eat at buddy's.

Monday, August 31, 2009

sweet music of the shores.


I am amazed with the idea of life.
one day you fucked up. One day you are in love.
one day you are messed up with love, but as fergie says love bug comes right back to you.
I never fail to stand up when I fall..
but here you came along.

I have been through deepest heart aches when we started...
but now i am glad that we are getting along together.
Thank you for our little sweet-nothings.
Thank you for the random kisses.
It has been along time when I experienced love-making.
And you know why i am so eager to do it again? it is because i feel it.
I feel you.

My hopes are high again.
I love you babe.
I am waiting for the day that both of us are naked and comfortable.
naked with truth.
naked with our own individuality and still communes with warm stares.
I am so glad you are saying that you missed me.
It means you reciprocate.
One day I want you to ride with me on our trip to escapism.
Let us derive the tunes and ideas of our poetry.
Revive the summer heat when two people needs to go out and have fun under the sun.
Let us be kids running along the shores and have a shower of shoveled sand.
go skinny dipping with the saltiness of the sea and tease each other.
and after playing along, we'll get a rest and hug you, for I want you to feel secured.
and as we sleep we will dream of sand castle as it turns into stones that we can fit in and live in.

Baby i guess I derived already my feelings for tonight.
I love you.
and I am patiently waiting that you will say that too. :)

P.S.
let us dream of tomorrow's offering.

Monday, August 24, 2009

can you hold my hands?


It has been...
random thoughts.
random arguments.
random phrases.
random tales.
random smiles.
random burst of emotions.
random failures.
random success.

It feels like I am saturated with the laughter and sadness that everyday covers.
i don't know why i am experiencing this weird feeling.
I don't know if I am loosing my grip.
and sometimes I am wondering why people flip the coin when they already skip the part of their soon-to-be fortune.

I am making my disclaimer statement... IT IS LIFE IN GENERAL.
i want to bathe in the fountain of rejuvenation...
It feels like I am wounded in many fights...
fight for living.
fight for striving.
fight for speaking.
fight for accusations.
fight for being naive.

but I am still fighting. The spirit is still there.
when it will be time for death.
I am blinded.
I don't know where to run.
will I run to you and be accepted?
and who are the YOUS?
you is so collective in nature. It can be you and others.
I feel succumb about my rantings.
When it will be right?
Do I need to fast forward the events?
should I go slow?
I am doubting now.

I am so afraid.




P.S.
can you hold my hands C?
I am so scared of life.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Kiss me like a little lad.


Hey even with out a word I can tell that you are happy. Genuinely.
and I am hearing this as I extract it from my thoughts unto my head, "your love is like the sun that lights up my whole world... your love is like a river that flows down through my vein, I feel the chill inside. "... I guess that best describes my smile as my fingers type these wonderful words. for I know I feel that. for you of course.

Thank you for the shirt I know it will warm my soul when I'm missing you.
This smile that I wear now will last.. I know it will shatter my physicality for this day.
You made me more happy with the silent thoughts that you left me...
It seems that your grabbing me and telling me that "Alvin stay".
it feels like you need me too. Well maybe I am just assuming the ideology but let me assume and forgive me for that.
Hey I love you. and it was not the same as yesterday for I f eel its greater but tomorrow it'll be better and stronger.

Let me stop my fingers as they tap my devotion for you.

P.S.
take care of our baby.
grr.. I am missing you now.

Friday, August 21, 2009


It has been a long day for me...
I am excited to meet the people who revolves upon the system that you have made.
I know I just got three today...
I got Titong (mark)
I got sabina.
I got twinkle.
well you got me of course.
I am knowing you every inch and as i get closer I can't help wonder how I am to you.
as they say i am doing my struts and shit, but i want to ask how I am?
where am I?
well that is not the question for now...
I want to tell you how wonderful it was to be a part of your world.
I asked them how are you being as a friend. they didn't fail me... they said you are a real person...
I had a journey today. i almost toured around manila and you know what, I did enjoy it.
The journey that I had today let me know you and my self of course.
Dude I am very excited to work out my less expensive gift to you.
I am astonished to the fact that I had to try the things that I haven't gone through.
It makes me feel that I am real.
I am excited.
i am deeply finding out my core.
i am digging through the fire that i used to dream for the past 2 light years.
I am getting to fall in love to my self and next to you.
I feel glad that I have found you in the most random way that I can push my self into.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
i won't wish you luck, for you make your own path.
I am telling you to make good decisions in life.
If I'm still here, get your phone and dig unto my name and you know what to click unto thy fingers.
well morning will come unto your eyes today. and another year to celebrate that life has given you sunshine and not shadows.
Remember that you should always touch the light and never be afraid to get burned...
for as you get hurt the deeper you learn.
Risk... you are young not to..
well thank you for letting me me realize my journey...
I am not asking you for a return nor to take my efforts against you.
I want you to be the luckiest person living....
for you have this lovely people besides you...
I must admit that every time I know you it makes me get afraid....
for maybe the next day you would say STOP! or GO!
either ways I am afraid.... but as I lay my foot steps unto your door and how many times I knock I would.
I am not the perfect guy, I may not have the perfect attitude but I must say I am a perfect subject who can adopt change.
I already made up my mind upon the story of looking... for I saw you already... if God would let me unto you... I'll try my best to keep you... I LOVE YOU (and on my second attempt to say this here) no words to tell next...

P.S.
I am happy this day... I am hoping you will like my surprise.
I am not looking for a fancy gift to give you instead I look unto you...
going back to the grounds where you should start and where to boost your wings to soar as you flap your soul unto the amidst of walking the pavements of life.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

as You open My surprise.


I walked through the corridors of the office and found myself empty.
I guess I am used to have text messages from someone I am in too..
but you... you don't even know that i might get jealous of the things that you are uttering...
or maybe you are just too comfortable to say those things to me...
but you know what... on my way home I realized that i can no longer find my self flirting again...
i don't know what is with that kiss on that saturday night... You caught me unguarded...
You made me rang the bell of the old alvin.
The Alvin that is romantic...
The Alvin that is full of effort.
The Alvin who doesn't know the word weariness...

and especially the Alvin who appreciates the word selflessness.

i miss that feeling.
but lemme' know you more.
let me do my little surprise...
I'll be glad to do it for you...
and as you open my surprise... I'll let you welcome to my life... and please enter.
and if not that time... maybe next time.
I'll wait... just don't let me get tired...
for I only get tired if you will give me reasons to be.

Hey I LOVE YOU.
this is the first time I'll tell you this. Too bad you were not reading this the moment I post this.
but let me be secretive to you... and that is something new to me. :)

P.S.
again...you will not know this for because I won't tell you.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Realization in a jeepney ride.


I saw that...
Love patiently waits.
Love does not need label.
Love does not need places.
Love does not know gender.
Love does not know collision.
Love does not know time.
Love does not know weariness.

I am on my way home with my good friend Allan and I saw two friends of mine.
It has been a year til' I saw them together again.
Smile light up my face.
then I suddenly have this thought... Crap! It has been along time since they have been like that.
It struck up on me... they are not telling (or I am so yesterday with the news) what are they now, their status or grr... there is no way to say this, are they together... i don't play gossip girl upon my blog but I realized Love does not label...
I took LRT as my mode of transportation going home this night and I've been with them... It was nice to see them again... their sweet nothings, the body language and especially the route of my friend going to her girl's place... I suddenly realize that love does not know weariness for my friend looks so tired she even slept on our jeepney ride going to our city... and you know what... I guess the other girl reciprocates with her efforts... I think she already gave in with her whispers in the cold air this night. I suddenly realize Love does not know gender...
and as we bid our goodbyes, for we rode a different tricycle, i have this thought... Love does not know time, for even how late she'll go home, she will still pursue and express her love... and as she expresses her devotion to this girl, she proves that love does not know places....

Well as I stepped in the door of our home... I asked rather realizing that Does Love dont know collision? I am happy today because of you... but, see there is still buts... but I should thank you for my two friends... you inspired me to pursue love... as I say to this person... "tell me when to stop, but I still want to see you the next day, the next day of the next days, the days of the next weeks, the days of the next months... til' you stay STOP!".

I must say I am in love...
hope you can read this. but I won't tell you how to.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

pain reliever.


I am in a complete dilemma...
I can't see the good Alvin who can decide whether to love or to love unconditionally...
I can't see him anymore..
where was he when i needed him...
where was I??
i have been spending two years of not having a good relationship...
I always fucked up every inch until I cant even get out of drowning him...
I want to save him from damnation...
God why am I having this situation...
I need love... but am I not loving myself anymore....
I forgot where did I left his shoes that he used to wear ...
I need to find him... I need to find myself...
where is Alvin?
he is drowning in pain the pain that he created out of hatred... revenge...

He used to find good-looking persons to compensate what he has...
but is that the answer...
I talked to him in the dark...
he said he's finding that person to stop his cravings from flirting other person when he is in a relationship...
well i asked him... did you ever find that guy?
he answered he thinks so...
where was that person?
he said... having another guy...


I know I am in pain...
but i like that person...
wish me luck...
Lord I am swearing...
grant my wish... and am swearing to love and love unconditionally...
no more side dishes...
no more online shits...
just me and that dream...

ayoko na...
I want Alvin back...
I want my self back...
No pretending... no more pending... no more exes on my head...
I want to see myself deeply in love again... that's a dream... that I want to fulfill...

and for you... my secret person...
I like you... I want to know you more...
I am pushing but not competing with your guy...
I want to be my self when I'm with you...
let me do it without anything in return just your kisses that are holding me in...
don't give me hopes...
just give me time to know you...

and for tomorrow... a new Alvin will arise...
I will start to fix my self...
pieces by pieces... step by step...
from Sahara I'll plant trees...
from Petronas I'll start building a small house...
from songs that I used to listen...I don't feel anything anymore...
I'll be listening instead to Unwritten by natasha bedingfield to start a new me...
rejoicing life... rejoicing Positivity...

P.S.
I'll be close to you God...
ipapakilala ko sya sayo... like the old times...
I want you to be a witness in our relationship... til that person says yes....

Saturday, August 8, 2009

don't cry while walking


Last night after taking my review subject, me and my friend went to a choral concert of our very own Mapua Concert Singers. It was astonishing. It was great. After the surprises that the choral made, the alumni members and the current members gathered together again like the old times. Well they sang their version of 'kailangan kita'. My friend, a photographer, said "let's go to the front", but as we walk in the amidst of the theatre, i suddenly stoppedd and listen to the choral singing. There i was, stuck with the idea of drowning myself again for the idea that I should stop.

It has been a year and so, but I can still forget that idea...
No! you know it was a dream and I can't believe I said the
word WAS... yes let's say it should be WAS...
I found myself almost crying last night because of You!
I want to tell myself "You fool! wake up. You guys already cut the ties".
I caught myself listening to melancholic melodies and lingering every words they uttered.
If my fingers can reach you... It well tell you that I've been reminiscing the very few places that we stepped in. I made it as a landmark and photographed it unto my head.
I know... tell me I am a fool... it came to a point that the tides subside on your part and now it is my turn to mourn...
It feels like I am in a funeral and tearing over a wonderful Saturday that we will go to mall... You'll drive me up.. open up my door when I am going down... I'll choose clothes for you... you know I love styling you up... we will cook together... eating dinner at my place that will soon be OURS... but I dont know... maybe i should stop leading that next chapters...
Maybe I'll write again with my tear drops as my ink...

By the way I saw you the other night... I dont want to say hi for it may lead me broke... broke from your attention.. good thing you did that too... or maybe your good... and acquired the skill of leaving me along the suburbs with nothing on my hands but the pieces of us and the promises that we both ruined...

I admit it is my fault...that is why I am ending us now...
Today and this evening, I will find myself...
Don't let me see you... for i will hold your hands until the next chapters come true...
Well if you dont show up, wish me well for I will find a big black hole and leave Uno...

P.S.
I miss US!
I love you... it stayed here evert since...

Wednesday, April 15, 2009


here i am.. listening to a song that i used to listen… love story…

saying hello… I know i’ve been a scarlet letter… and staying away from juliet…

i want to run from highlands and walk through your life… but the sun from the east won’t let me…

i want to beg you not to go… i even want to… escape from the melancholy and the fact that we cant be together. i want to be romeo who’ll save you… but i don’t want to be the poison. I always want you to see you marry your lofty dreams as lofty that you cannot see it. I don’t want to see you fall as the tower of Pisa did… i don’t want you to break like the twin towers… but i am shaky… shaky as my fingers tap this letters, to words and form goodbye.

i want to see you as my Juliet someday. I’ll take off your cufflings and hug thy clothes from the hamper… i don’t want to share you, if you’ll ask me.

i want your breath from the morning… I’ll kiss your forehead til’ it turns dawn.

i want to be in your wake and see you as mine… til’ death do we part.

i am tearing like hales pouring from Sahara.

i am deeply there touching you…

as you touch me… well you did touch me… as i wake up in the morning its just another dream… a dream.

i want to see you cry as YOU read this.

i want to see the the cactus filled with your tears… as well as mine…

but… BUT… BUt…

let us end this buts…

and will leave with buts…

and savor the maybes….

that you and me…

let us hug the morning as we bid its sunshine…

let us put the omega from this…

and wait as the castle in the air comes in to us…

well its just a castle in the air…

and alvin as he pack his bag… is walking with his sigh.

P.S.

I’m waiting for you… for now let us stop kissing the pavements.